Death Note Pickup Lines
by ExplodingWeekend
Summary: Light's quest to find the ultimate pick-up line!


A/N: Okay, here it goes. Death Note Pick-Up Lines!!

I'm sorry if this is really corny and not funny at all. It's kind of hard to think up pick up lines, you know!

I might make another, so if you have any good ones please send them to me in a review or PM!!!

Warning: May contain slight spoilers on who dies in the anime and everything.

Death Note Pick-Up Lines

Light: Baby, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be dead.

L: What?

Light: I'm trying pick-up lines. Was that any good?

L: …

Light: Okay, what about this one: Hi, I'm God. Someone said you were looking for me.

L: Are you just changing around really old, bad pick-up lines from that book so they fit you?

Light: … No.

L: Okay, try this one. *hands Light slip of paper*

Light: 'Hi, the voices in my head told me to come here and talk to you'… Hey! What's that supposed to imply?

L: That you're insane.

Light: Well, I'd like to hear how you get girls, then. Come on, tell me what you say!

L: I tell them I have only three months to live.

Light: … And that actually works?

L: Surprisingly, yes. Usually I only have to point over to you and say that an insane psychopath is trying to kill me with his notebook. It's especially helpful to do it when you're laughing maniacally at one of those silly evil rants you do.

Light: Er… what are you talking about? I-I don't do evil rants. Are you trying to get me to say that I'm Kira?

L: Precisely.

Light: Well, that's not going to happen, because I'm not. Now please help me think up a suitable pick-up line!

L: Obviously I'm not cut out for this. Why don't you ask Misa?

Light: Oh, no no no no no! She'll think I'm going to use them on her!

L: It couldn't help to ask her anyway.

---

Misa: Oh, hello Light~

Light: Hi.

Misa: Have you come to ask me on another date?

Light: Actually, I wanted to see how you thought this pick-up line sounds.

Misa: Ooooh, pick-up lines? Are you going to use them on me~?

Light: I was trying to keep it a surprise, but you found me out. Goodbye.

Misa: Wait! I'll tell you the one that always gets me!

Light: *sigh* Fine. What is it?

Misa: Well, yesterday I was at this bar and this guy came up to me and said that he envied my lipstick. And for a second, I didn't really understand what he meant. So I asked him what he meant and he explained it to me and then I was like 'Oohhh' and then I hit him with my purse and called him names and told him I already had the most perfect boyfriend in the world and… Light? Light, where'd you go?

---

Light: That was a disaster. Oh, look, it's that weird girl who blows up things. Hey, you!

Mello: Oh great, it's you. What do you want? Care to melt the other side of my face off?

Light: Yeah, sorry about that. You're the one that blew yourself up, though.

Mello: Shut up!

Light: Okay, um, calm down. Listen, you're a girl, right?

Mello: I'm a GUY you IDIOT!!!

Light: Oh, woops. Well, pretend you're a girl for a second.

Mello: NO!

Light: Would you like it if I came up to you and said this: 'If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question'

Mello: That's an awful pick up line. Everyone knows that you need to have chocolate in a pick up line. Girls are attracted to chocolate.

Light: Really?

Mello: No. But I still like chocolate. Here, try this one: If you were ice cream and I were chocolate sauce I'd pour all my love onto you.

Light: That's stupid.

Mello: No, it's delicious. Mmm… chocolate sauce.

Light: Give me another one.

Mello: I don't know any more. Hey, hold on. MATT! GET OVER HERE NOW!!

Matt: Yes?

Light: Where the heck did you come from?

Matt: I don't really know.

Mello: Matt, do you know any good pick up lines?

Matt: Yep! There's this one-

Mello: Any that don't have to do with Pokemon?

Matt: Um… yeah, there's-

Mello: Or World of Warcraft?

Matt: There's…

Mello: Or any other video game known to man?

Matt: No, not really. Oh, wait! What about this one! *whispers in Mello's ear*

Mello: That's the most retarded one I've ever heard. It just might work!

Light: What is it?

Matt: Are you sure you want to know?

Light: Yeah, just tell me it!

Mello: O-kaaaay.

Light: Finally!

---

Light: Oh, L~

L: What?

Light: I finally found the perfect line! The girls are sure to love this one!

L: What is it?

Light: Wait right there, I'll go use it on that girl over there! Then you'll see how smart and creative I am for coming up with this all by myself!

L: Whatever.

Light: *walks off towards random girl and starts talking to her*

L: Hey Matt, hey Mello. I didn't know you were in this anime.

Mello: We come in after you die.

Matt: And then we die thanks to stupid Light.

Mello: I really hate that guy. Look what he did to my precious face!

Matt: Actually, you did that yourself.

Mello: Shut up!

---

Light: Hello!

Random Girl: Hi.

Light: *whispers in ear*

Random Girl: What?!

Light: Er… did it work?

Random Girl: NO! *rolls up sleeve and makes a fist*

---

L: Ouch, that looked like it hurt. What did he say?

Matt: I told you it would work!

Mello: You're such a genius, Matt! I guess those video games didn't melt your brain after all!

L: What did he say?

Matt: Aww, thanks Mello.

Mello: No problem, seriously, that line was gold.

L: WHAT DID HE SAY?

Matt: Let's go get some ice cream, Mello.

Mello: Sounds good, I call chocolate!

---

L: Light! Come over here! What did you say to that girl?

Light: *whisper*

L: Oh… *faints*

Light: Huh. Maybe I _should_ use that line on Misa.


End file.
